


Last Resorts

by Anihan (Nakagami)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Other, comment!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 22:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakagami/pseuds/Anihan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logical discussion has failed. Sherlock decides to take drastic measures to ensure that his body is once more under his full control; however, first he would like to give the culprit one last chance to relent...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Resorts

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [In Which Sherlock Has a Serious Discussion with an Old Acquaintance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/405448) by [S J Hartsfield (abbykate)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbykate/pseuds/S%20J%20Hartsfield). 



Forty-nine hours later, Sherlock and Sherlock's penis have another discussion. Sherlock whips it out in a bathroom at Tesco's -- John had demanded he replace the kettle, something about having broken or contaminated four of them in the last month alone, or else he'd bin every experiment in the kitchen the next time Sherlock left the house for a case -- and glares resentfully at the appendage.

"I don't believe you've been taking my words seriously. Since our last talk you've repeated exactly that same unacceptable behavior exactly fourteen times. It's been two days! Have you no self control? Merely the thought of John is enough to set you off now. What would happen if I got a case? No, there's just no excuse for it. You have to stop. This amount of masturbatory activity is unsustainable."

Sherlock interprets the rapid bobbing of his penis in what could only be correctly labeled as contrite horror.

"You're saying that it is  _my_  fault? No, absolutely incorrect. My brain is fully functional without you; genitalia are not essential for transport. I enjoy John's company intellectually: The libido is the fault of the body. No, don't look at me like that. Clearly you have not been holding up your end of this cohabitation." Sherlock lets out a rough, angry breath.

"I hadn't wished to do this, but we have come to an impasse, and, as we cannot agree, something must be altered. I regret that this must be done but you have given me no alternative: I don't need a penis, but I do need John."


End file.
